From Exhaustion to Excitement: A New Chapter Begins

It’s been a while since my first article.

Since February 16th, 2024, I’ve officially been relieved of my duties at my former job.  Let me tell you, it wasn’t a walk in the park.

Every ounce of my energy went into ensuring a smooth handover. I worked hard until the very end. I wanted to leave everything in perfect order. I couldn’t concentrate on anything else.

Now, the people who have taken over my role are trained, I have made all the requested handovers and administrative tasks, leaving a clean slate. I did everything that was important to me:

• Wrapping up yearly reviews ,
• Securing promotions for deserving team members,
• Finalizing important hires in the team and greeting them,
• Ensuring my successor had a clear understanding of key client relationships,
• Making sure what I had started was continuing and the Spanish team spirit was in good hands,
• Celebrating my last moments, inviting my colleagues and clients, reminiscing and expressing my gratitude,
• Sending a farewell message and responding to well-wishers.

Finally, I could turn my attention to the future.

Early December 2023, I was lucky enough to be sick with a mild Covid during my vacations. A blessing as I had to stay home, rest, and meet no one. Life arranged a period of reflection time.

During this time of isolation, I began brainstorming my next chapter, I started looking around, establishing a budget, researching volunteer opportunities and potential careers in Africa.

Volunteering in Africa has a cost; it is a real business and it is not cheap. I have some savings. However, I don’t want to waste my money and time. I want to make sure I am investing them properly in a relevant experience. I felt overwhelmed by the sheer number of online programs and the difficulty of discerning legitimate ones. Thankfully, I reached out to former trainees/volunteers, seeking their feedback.

From one volunteer to another, it became clear I wasn’t interested only by a volunteering experience. First came the idea of the internship in wildlife conservation.

It was during this time that Ch., a long-lost friend who runs a diving and safari excursion business worldwide, reconnected with me in Barcelona.

I was so happy to meet him and hoped to get good advice at the same time. He gave me much more.

Our reunion couldn’t have been more opportune. Ch. not only offered valuable advice but also generously provided local contacts and even the exciting opportunity to teach math and English to children in South Africa at no personal cost to me. 

He also shared insightful tips on identifying reputable volunteer programs and sent me his wonderful wildlife pics further fueling my passion for this new path.

He was even more motivated than I was, the push I needed at this stage.

I continued my search on my own, trying to follow my intuition to the best I could. While the teaching opportunity was tempting, I struggled to fully connect with the provider. I was happy to be a teacher to do something meaningful, to be close to an elephant park in South Africa, but I couldn’t project myself in this plan.

Through conversations with other volunteers, the idea of becoming a safari field guide emerged.

Why not be trained as a safari field guide? Spending 6 months learning about the species, their characteristics, learning to drive a 4-wheel drive car, use a gun, being in the wild, performing a practical internship and ultimately guiding tourists.

This deeply resonated with me.

Finally, I identified the very same safari field guide program Ch. participated in years ago.

Despite his caution regarding the difficulty of securing a job as a foreign safari guide, the potential experience itself held immense value. Of course, I prefer to be informed. This is a chance to learn an entirely new skillset, explore a fascinating environment, a complete new world, be out there in the wild and challenge myself in a safe and supportive setting.

Then the idea continued to grow but without yet a proper action or first step. 

Let’s rewind a bit.

When my job stopped. On Friday, the 16th of February.

I was exhausted. Very exhausted.

I had planned to spend the whole weekend at my sister’s and spend some time with her. As the rest of the family was on a ski trip in the Alps. I could be natural with my sister, showing my tiredness, spending time with her, letting myself go and respecting one another’s physical and emotional status.We had some nice quiet moments, visited the Quai Branly museum, enjoyed some lunch and talks together.

I flew back to Barcelona on Monday.

Upon returning to Spain, I received devastating news – my grandfather was nearing the end of his life. I knew his girlfriend couldn’t cope with him anymore as he was getting sick with a very recent cognitive disease, probably Alzheimer’s disease. I thought of paying him a visit during the last weekend but I was too exhausted and had no energy for this visit.

His girlfriend placed him in an Ehpad, introduced herself as the neighbor, not even a relative, she left no phone number, nothing, she even got rid of her landline. We discovered this when we arrived at the retirement home the next day.

We did the best we could hoping to be there before the last breath so he didn’t die alone. This was hopeless. My grandfather died minutes before we both arrived. My plane got delayed and the journey from Sète to the Parisian suburbs couldn’t be done without several breaks for my Mom. We arrived just minutes after his passing, finding him still warm. 

The following days were filled with the complexities of funeral arrangements and navigating a challenging family dynamic. Doubts lingered about whether we were making the right decisions. Making sure his wishes were being met. We managed to get the essential wills : a christian celebration at the church, a proper burial in Ars en Ré, military tributes with flag and flag bearers, family being informed. 

In the meantime, it was easy to stop thinking about my future life and I put everything on hold. 

My initial plan on the day after I left my job was to enjoy life, spend the week resting and start organizing the 2nd edition of the Flors Festival for which I am committed this year. 

None of this happened as I flew to France to be there for my grandfather and help my family. 

But life kept on knocking at my door. 

Throughout this emotional turmoil, the dream message “It’s time to get started” resonated within me.

Other powerful signals emerged: 

• I cried before a text which invited me to make the first move which we discussed in-depth with my mother.  I was indeed in full procrastination mode. 
• I watched by chance a video that invited me to take the first actions, reminding me that miracles are not coming on their own.
• It was the day in which I was invited to “become my vision”. 

And the synchronicity of the full moon.  

All signs were gathered here in front of my eyes. I couldn’t ignore them any longer.  

So, the first night in my family house, I submitted my application for the Limpopo 6 months safari training. If not now, then when? It took me almost 3 months to get to this conclusion with my research. 

I haven’t yet fully weighed all my options, the different possibilities…😱

It was not easy sending this email and registration form with my signature. All the fears and the doubts were back again. It took me some courage to sign and click the Send button, not as simple as it seems. 

Sometimes it is just the right moment. I did it. It just felt right. 

Today, I received the confirmation. I am officially registered! I have received the payment schedule and all the documents needed for the visa request. I need to organize my travels and my life around this decision now. What should I do with my flat? Should I leave it and be fully free? Should I keep it? How can I keep an address in Spain ? I will see what my options are later, maybe some solutions will come along the way. Not easy for a control freak like I am. 

Anyway, I did it!! I am now registered for a 6 months safari field guide training in Africa starting in July 2024.

The rest of the organization is on me. One decision pending on my end, I would like to do the volunteering experience I have been exploring and that Ch. recommended to me. Two weeks volunteering cycle in Namibia at EHRA : Building walls under the dazing sun the first week , Patrol week the second week to get to know more about the elephant herds, sleeping each night under the stars. I received so much great feedback from the volunteers that performed this cycle.

I am so excited by this program. I would like to register for the trip for one month and a half prior to my 6 months training cycle. 

Let’s see. 

Photo : Christopher Bartlett